Here comes the bride! Oh, and the hustle and bustle of planning for a wedding.
Almost immediately after my now-husband proposed to me, I was suddenly pulled into the world of preparing for this marriage celebration.
Unlike some brides-to-be, I did not have many ideas of what I wanted my wedding look like or what I wanted. Other than watching an occasional episode of “Say Yes to the Dress”, I was a true wedding planning novice.
Recognizing this, I was new to the whirlwind of details, expenses and new family experiences that this part of life would bring. And between you and I, I sure could of used a heads up!
Planning for a wedding can be exciting, stressful, confusing and invigorating all at the same time. So self-care is beyond necessary for you and your future life partner.
As a newlywed with memories of the tying the knot fresh on my mind, here are three self-care practices that I found incredibly helpful when planning for the big day.
Delegate tasks and ask for help.
To all my strong friends, helpers and professional do-it-alls: folks, wedding planning is not the time to go into isolation and do everything yourself.
Depending on what you envision for your special day, gather your trusted loved ones and discuss what you will need help with. There’s a good chance that the folks you chose to be in your wedding party are ready (and waiting!) for you to engage them in this process.
In practicing this type of self-care, you decrease your risk of becoming overwhelmed and burnt out from all that comes with planning. There is a lot of energy that can go into coordinating this event — you’ll want to conserve yours as much as you can.
Be mindful and set limits around discussing the wedding.
Ya’ll, “wedding brain” is definitely a real thing.
You may find yourself in the thick of choosing wedding colors, deciding on reception entrees and creating your ceremony playlist.
‘Wedding brain’ refers to regularly thinking and talking about your plans for the wedding.
For self-care around this, intentionally pause and actively choose to think/talk about other things going on in your life. Build your awareness around how often you are in wedding-planning mode and notice if your wedding is the only topic you choose to discuss.
You and the people around you have whole lives outside of this singular event. Take breaks from wedding planning to do things that have absolutely nothing to do with the wedding itself. Make time to have fun, rest and engage in your loved ones’ lives.
Take care of your relationship with your partner and focus on what’s important.
In some cases, wedding planning will present a new opportunity to get to know your partner (in ways that you might not have imagined!). A lot of times, weddings and the celebration of your union includes the joining of you and all that comes with a whole other adult person. It’s fair to assume that both yours and your partner’s invisible luggage may make a few appearances during this time.
In addition to practicing self-care within your relationship, remember to do your best to focus on what’s important. You’ll be surprised with what conflicts can rise over the choosing of the cocktail hour appetizers and deciding on what your grand exit will look like.
What helps with this relationship-care is reminding yourself and each other what’s most important to you. Some reminders that my husband and I chose to be intentional about included:
- Celebrating our commitment to each other. Our decision to be together is what matters the most to us.
- Remembering that we are a team in this process. We will work together and support each other.
- Doing our absolute best to talk through a problem and find a solution.
- Managing our emotions and (wisely) choosing our battles.
- Letting go of small details that did not align with intention number one!
In regularly practicing these self-care ideas, I am relieved to say that we made it through our wedding planning experience. It can be tough to be mindful of these parts of our self-care, but in thinking ahead, becoming self-aware and remembering what’s most important to you and your partner, you too will be in a place to happily celebrate this incredibly special occasion.
How do you practice self-care when wedding planning?