The Difference Between Self-Acceptance & Self-Settling

What do you think of when you hear the words “accept yourself”?

For some, you may think acceptance coincides with settling. When choosing to be accepting of yourself, sometimes we think of not wanting ourselves to change and keeping everything as it is.

Amazingly so, there is a big difference between self-acceptance and self-setting. And that difference has to do with our feelings about change.

adult dark depressed face

Photo by Pixabay on

When we are choosing to settle, we are actually choosing to not changeSettling means to “to come to rest”, to pause, to discontinue. Settling with who you are means to stop change in its tracks and not move forward and progress. Self-settling could include:

  • Being in denial of the changes you need to make to better yourself
  • Avoiding opportunities to discuss, process or act on a change
  • Distancing yourself or mocking those who are trying to change
  • Minimizing your desire to change
  • Making excuses or self-sabotaging your process of change

Meanwhile, self-acceptance is the journey of loving who you are in this moment.

Self-acceptance is a combination of having love, compassion and patience for who you are in the present moment. It means acknowledging and coming to peace with your past and having hope and patience for your future. When you are accepting of yourself, you may notice that you:

  • Believe in yourself and recognize your strengths, skills and abilities
  • Actively choose not to make negative or hurtful comments about yourself
  • Have dreams for your future and a desire to see them through to completion
  • Have self-compassion for your process of change
  • Have love for who you are in the present moment, flaws and all

Self-acceptance, like many parts of having a healthy relationship with yourself, takes time and energy to develop. Notice where you are in your journey of living a self-loving life and become aware of if you are more self-settling or self-accepting.

What do you think the differences are between being self-accepting and self-settling?



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